Are You An Octopus? Defining Your Leadership Boundaries for Greater Impact
When I first started working with Anna, she was exhausted and overwhelmed. As a senior leader in a busy charity her role was big enough as it was; her tasks, projects, strategic work and deadlines were finely balanced at the best of times. She'd come to me for coaching to try to get handle on her work, and find a way to work more sustainably, but just as we started working together she described an email appearing in her inbox and exploding a bomb in her week. A member of staff had been due to complete a crucial funding report, but couldn't because the data just wasn't there, and they had no idea what to do. The report was due in 3 days, and it meant all hands on deck just to get it done.
This wasn't the first time her week was taken over by other tasks, and she's certainly not the first senior leader to experience these stressors; feeling like an octopus, juggling ALL the tasks, and tying themselves in knots whilst doing it.
And whilst it's easy to fall into picking up tasks that aren't yours, it's essential to find a way to maintain clarity on your role, not just for your wellbeing, but for you to lead effectively. Without it, you can't do what you need to do to deliver on the strategy, and your team can't either.
Are you an Octopus?
I don't know anyone in the charity sector who isn't busy, it's a given that our roles are full on, and it's common to hear people saying "that's just how it is". And to some extent that's true, the sector is typically under resourced, and many people are trying to fit two (or sometimes three) jobs into 1 role.
But if you're finding yourself with a never ending to do list, working in a reactive way, feeling unable to say no, staying late more often than you leave on time, not enough time between meetings to actually do any work, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and uncertain what you're actually meant to be doing it could be that you're role has expanded beyond what we could consider to be reasonable boundaries.
In my experience it's common for there to be role creep, for a variety of reasons, which can often be framed as a 'development opportunity' (hello second service), and as you progress up the ladder this can almost be part and parcel of senior leadership. And can be even more difficult in smaller charities, where one person needs to cover a number of functions; when new services are won, they need to fit into someone's remit, especially in these days where funders don't want to cover overheads, management, or other essential core costs.
The Hidden Costs of Role Expansion
This creates a system which charities are working in which already put leaders on the back foot, before they're in post we're already asking a huge amount of them, and so is it any wonder they feel they need to shoulder the responsibility, and twist themselves into knots? This can leave you as a leader on the path to burnout, with no respite, but it goes beyond the individual impact. Working in this way makes the strategic work more challenging of course because time is limited, but it also makes this harder because this reactive way of working leaves you running on cortisol, it means your head is full, and you are not in a position to think clearly or creatively, making problem solving more difficult, ultimately creating a vicious cycle of overwhelm and inefficiency – not because you aren't capable, but because you don't have the space to reflect and do.
Defining What You're Really Here To Do
As you move into senior roles, what's expected is often less explicit, especially where someone has been promoted within the organisation. Often job descriptions are vague, inductions don't happen (you're experienced, so you're expected to hit the ground running) and clear objectives aren't set, because there's no time for appraisals, let alone writing them up. Is it any wonder you're uncertain what you're meant to be doing, or feeling like all of it is your responsibility?
Step 1: Assess Your Current Role
So if this resonates, and you have no idea where your roles begins and ends here is what you can do:
Track what you're actually doing – over the course of a week to a month track what you're doing. How long in meetings, supervising and supporting staff, on your emails, with stakeholders, actually doing, the strategic work. You get the idea.
Go back to basics – look at what is in your job profile, if you ever had objectives – what do they include, what is your responsibility in the strategy
What do you have control over – do you have the authority to make decisions over the tasks you're taking on, and does that responsibility sit with you or someone else?
Are you doing, managing or leading – given your role, how much time should you be doing, managing or leading, and be honest, how much are you currently doing of each.
Step 2: Identify What Belongs Elsewhere
These questions should give you a clearer sense of what is in your remit, and what should perhaps sit elsewhere. You may find that having considered these questions some work needs to be allocated elsewhere (this may or may not be in your control), but to help this process you may want to consider the following questions:
Which role or job function does this task sit within?
Does the person in this role have the necessary skills?
Do they have the resources?
What support do they need to take this on?
Setting and Communicating Role Boundaries
If you find yourself in the position that you're been taking on work that's not yours, finding a way to communicate this to others can be challenging. Speaking to your manager or board may leave you with a sense of dread, saying no to a team who have been delegating up can leave you feeling guilty. It can feel like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Using Clear, Fact-Based Communication
Be clear what the boundaries of your role are, what the current priorities are, and what capacity you have. This makes conversations around your role and capacity less emotive, and factual, and enables you to be clear about what you are actually able to do within your working week.
Redirecting Without Solving
If you are regularly experiencing others coming to you with challenges to solve, or attempts to delegate work up that fit within their remit, arm yourself with responses to requests for you to solve other peoples challenges, for example "how have you tried to manage this already?", "how do you think you could handle this situation?". And remember if team members are used to you saying yes, it may take them some time to get used to you putting a boundary in place.
Managing High-Pressure Periods
Maintaining boundaries during high-pressure periods is often challenging, and it is important to remember that for some roles there will be occasions where you find yourself having to work late, take on an extra project or something outside your usual role. To minimise the impact of these periods, it's essential to make sure these occasions are the exception not the rule, so that the majority of the time you are prioritising leaving work on time, and in addition you have developed a healthy resilience practice in and outside of work so you can bounce back from challenging times at work.
Reclaiming Your Leadership Role
When you define the boundaries of your role clearly and communicate them effectively, you create space for your most important leadership work. This isn't about doing less—it's about focusing your energy where it will have the greatest impact.
Start by identifying just one responsibility that doesn't truly belong in your remit. Consider who should own it, what support they might need to take it on, and how you'll communicate this change. Notice how it feels to release this task and redirect your attention to work that only you can do.
Remember that clear boundaries don't just benefit you; they create clarity for your entire team. When everyone understands their role and responsibilities, the organization functions more efficiently and effectively. The real liberation comes not from avoiding work, but from doing the right work—the strategic, leadership work that enables your charity to fulfill its mission.
If you're struggling to define your role boundaries or communicate them to your team and board, coaching can provide the structured support and accountability you need to make these changes stick. The path from overwhelmed octopus to focused leader is possible—and it starts with clarity about what's truly yours to do.
If this resonates and you need some help untangling your knots, let’s talk