Self-care isn’t easy. 8 things you can do to nurture it.
There, I said it.
We’re often sold a lie that self-care is easy; that if you do X every day, life will be great. But if it was that easy, we’d all be doing it already.
There are so many reasons it's difficult for us. For many of us, we are wearing a lot of hats, we are juggling lots of responsibilities, and we often fall to the bottom of the list. We know the things we should do to feel good: exercise; eat well; sleep; spend time with loved ones; meditate; journal; create time for ourselves...
But life gets in the way. Instead, you’re taking care of everyone else, (partner, kids, parents), you’re running the house, maybe you're doing a full-time job in part-time hours; at the end of the day you’re too tired.
But it’s more than that.
Women are socialised to care for everyone; it’s selfish to put ourselves first. When you were young you might have learnt that you don’t deserve to prioritise yourself.
So, what's to be done?
For some of us it might be as simple as planning out what is realistic, marking it in your calendar and getting it done. But if you need a little more than that here’s some suggestions to get you going.
Find your why. Really connecting with why YOU need to prioritise yourself, not why others say you should is important. This will help you stay committed when you feel like flopping on the sofa. Read more about finding your meaning here.
Find your barriers. If you know what gets in the way of your prioritising yourself, you’ll be better able to plan. Ask yourself what gets in the way? What is in your control? What isn’t in your control? And most critically, are you getting in your own way?
Start small. Identify one or two things which will help you take care of yourself. Is it 5 minutes of mindfulness? A bath? A walk? An evening out with friends? Be honest with yourself, is there time to do this? Is this the right time of day?
Can you habit stack? If this is something you want to do more than once a week, can you connect it to something else you do. If you attach it to something you are already doing it will be easier.
Intention. Write this down, make a commitment, start with “I commit to doing.....”
Visualise. Take some time to connect to how it is going to feel when you do what you’ve committed to. What emotions are you going to feel?
Review. Take some time to review your intention, did you achieve it? If you did, how can you stretch this? What else can you commit to? If you didn’t, approach this with curiosity and compassion; what can you do to help you achieve this next week?
High 5. Last but not least, give yourself a high 5. Watch Mel Robbins talk about the power of the High 5 Habit.
Alex, x
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