Why you want to build a meaningful life, and how you can find your meaning.
The meaning of life is pursued by many, but is often elusive; and I’m fairly certain we’ll never find a universal answer to the question of what it is.
What I am certain of though, is that you can find what is meaningful in your life, and once you do, you can use this to prioritise these elements in your life and doing this will support your wellbeing.
Meaning, defined as “belonging to and serving something that you believe is bigger” than you (Seligman, 2011), is the fourth pillar of flourishing. Whilst there are common themes of where we find meaning, ultimately what is meaningful to you and where you find meaning, may be different to what is meaningful to me, and what is meaningful to you now may not be what is meaningful to you in the future.
When we have a clear sense of what brings meaning to our lives, we can plan to ensure that our relationships, work, home life and hobbies are in alignment with this, supporting our wellbeing. When we find ourselves behaving in ways which are out of alignment with our sense of meaning, this can feel challenging or uncomfortable, and so it's really helpful to feel connection with what is meaningful to you so you can create any necessary change.
Finding what’s meaningful
You might be thinking ‘of course I know what is meaningful to me’. It might be things like family, helping others, being successful. I’d argue though that there is meaning beneath these, such as love, the service of other or a strong work ethic.
If your curious to explore what is meaningful to you here is something you might like to try.
Gather ten photos, or objects which feel meaningful to you over the next week. At the end of the week set aside some time and for each photo or object ask yourself the following questions:
What does this represent?
Why is it meaningful?
You might want to write these answers down, or map them, so you can explore the patterns and connections between them.
I love using this tool when working with clients as it always gives clients new insights and connects them with aspects of themselves, they may not have been aware of.
Prioritising the things which give you meaning
Once you have a clearer sense of what brings meaning to you and your life, you can start to find ways to prioritise these things. You might want to map what is meaningful to you against your relationships, your work and home life and the activities you pursue for pleasure.
Ask yourself:
What do I want to do more of?
How do I make space for this in my life?
What if aspects of life are out of alignment with your meaning?
Sometimes we find that an aspect of life doesn’t align with our meaning, this can have a negative impact and you might want to create change.
Sometimes this change will be easy to facilitate, but some elements of life, such as work are more difficult to change. If we’re unhappy at work, many of us are not in the position to just leave our job as we have financial responsibilities. Whilst we start to create the change we want in the area of life it can be helpful to us to find alternative meanings to support us.
When I came to the conclusion I needed to change my work-life balance, I reflected on what my work provided to me, and how this was associated with my sense of meaning. I was able to connect my work with being responsible and providing for my family. Whilst reframing my work to connect it with this source of meaning would not have sustained me stay in my role long-term, it enabled me to feel more comfortable whilst I moved away from that role. This created the space for me to be able to make and put a plan into action to create change.
So, what next?
Check in with what is meaningful to you and whether you have enough space for these things regularly.
Consider diarising these activities on a weekly or monthly basis to ensure you can prioritise them and yourself.
If you feel that you’d benefit from exploring what is meaningful to you, feel free to book a clarity call to find out more.