CULTIVATING a gratitude practice and 20 prompts to help you start (or end) your day well.
Gratitude can be a beautiful practice, it can draw out attention to the good things in our lives, making us feel great. By practicing it regularly it can improve our wellbeing and build our resilience, supporting us when we face challenges in life, as we inevitably will.
I’m certain you will have heard of the practice of count your blessings or three good things, where you’re encouraged to write down three things you are grateful for day in and day out. We have access to many different journals which create a space for this, and remind us to do it.
As a coach and a positive psychology practitioner, I ‘know’ gratitude is good for me, I know I should practice it regularly.
But can I let you into a secret?
I don’t practice gratitude every day. Some days I forget. Sometimes I don’t want to. Some days I write down three good things, and what I did to make them happen, and some days I ask my family what their best part of the day was, and we share the things we’ve enjoyed.
There are no right or wrongs when it comes to practicing gratitude. Well, there is one wrong. Forcing it. A gratitude practice shouldn’t be forced, and it shouldn’t be a chore. It should be something that uplifts you, not something that makes you feel bad if you don’t do it, or don’t think of the ‘right things’.
Ways to practice gratitude
There are a number of evidence-based ways to practice gratitude. This means that they have been tested in studies (which have been replicated) and show benefits to the wellbeing of the people who participated.
Count your blessings – the classic gratitude practice. Write down three things you are grateful for each day; these can be big or small. The more ‘everyday’ the better.
Three good things – the classic practice with a twist. Write down three things your grateful for, why and what you contributed to this happening.
A gratitude visit – bring to mind someone you are grateful to. Write them a letter detailing what they did that you’re grateful for, why and what it means to you. Arrange to see them and read the letter to them.
These ways of practicing gratitude might not work for you. You might not like writing. Having a morning or evening practice might not work with your schedule. They might not feel aligned with you. All of these are ok. Whichever way works for you is the option to take. And you might want to play around with some different options.
Other ideas for how you can practice gratitude
Share what you are grateful for with friends or family at the end of the day
Write a list in a bullet journal as they come to mind
Make a collage of pictures which represent things you are grateful for
Tell others why you are grateful to them
Journal about one thing you are grateful for
Creating space or time to reflect on what you’re grateful for
Starting a gratitude practice
Sometimes if can feel difficult to start a gratitude practice. We don’t know where to start. That’s ok, and its normal. We’re programmed to pay attention to the more difficult things in life, not the good (that’s why a gratitude practice can be so good for us).
Think about how and when gratitude can fit into your life? Where can you create space to think about what you are grateful for. This may be in the form of a morning or evening routine. But perhaps it’s easier for you once the kids are at school, you’ve sat down at your desk, or when you stop for lunch. Again, there is no right or wrong time.
How do you want to practice? Do you want to write? Are you more of a visual person? Do you just want to hold space to think about what you are grateful for? Do you want to share this practice with other people in your life?
How often do you want to practice? Is daily realistic, or do you want to start with a weekly practice?
Not sure what you’re grateful for? Start small - it really doesn’t need to be the big things in life. For me today its that I created space to exercise, I managed to stay (relatively) cool on possibly the hottest day of the year so far, and had a lovely session with a coaching client.
But if you need something to get you going, here are some questions which might help you on your way.
When have I felt happy?
When have I found flow?
What has challenged me?
Who do I feel grateful for?
How have I prioritised myself?
When have I felt connected to others?
When have I laughed?
Who is important to me?
Where have I found meaning?
When have I been brave?
What has made me feel at peace?
What has brought me joy?
What have I learnt?
What has lit me up?
Where have I found hope?
What have I enjoyed?
How do I create meaning in my life?
What has enabled me to use my skills?
What am I proud of?
What activities have I enjoyed?
Remember, there is no right or wrong about how you practice gratitude, as long as you feel it serves you. Play with it. Remember, it should be making you feel good.
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