The 5 pillars of wellbeing and how they will enable you to Flourish.

As a coach, finding ways for my clients to support their wellbeing themselves is integral to what I do. My aim is to enable my clients to get to know themselves at a deeper level, tap into their inner knowledge, wisdom & skills, find their strengths and align these with their values, meaning and purpose, ultimately empowering them to live a life they love.  

Part of this is ensuring my clients have the skills to flourish. Theories of flourishing argue that the absence of illness doesn’t equate to wellbeing; and that psychology should be striving to enable everyone to flourish. 

Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, outlined this theory of flourishing in his 2011 book Flourish, arguing that we need to cultivate 

1. Positive Emotions 

1. Engagement (A.K.A. Flow) 

1. Relationships 

1. Meaning 

1. Accomplishment 

He says “happiness, flow, meaning, love, gratitude, accomplishment growth, better relationships – constitutes human flourishing. Learning that you can have more of these things is life changing. Glimpsing the vision of a flourishing human future is life changing”.  

That’s pretty compelling right? 

The good news is, that there are simple practices we can bring into our everyday lives to support the 5 pillars. 

Positive Emotions 

Positive emotions are those which feel great: happiness, joy, pleasure, amusement, hope, pride, serenity. This isn’t about thinking happy thoughts or denying those emotions which get labelled as bad (that’s a whole other post), but creating space in our lives for more of the good. By firstly bringing our attention to these positive emotions, and then cultivating them we’re going to feel happier. But it does more than this; it builds our resilience so when things get tough, we have greater ability to weather the storm and bounce back. 

Flow 

There is much talk (and evidence of) the impact of mindfulness in our daily lives. Flow is almost the opposite of this. Its engaging in a practice, activity, pastime that we are so absorbed in we can’t think of anything else. We’re so absorbed we don’t notice time pass. Usually, we find ourselves in flow when we are using our greatest strengths, those which bring us joy to use, and are often effortless. 

Relationships 

Whether a natural introvert or extrovert, connection with others is important, and not just our romantic relationships. Seligman argues that very little that is positive happens when we are on our own, and that our connections with others are the antidote to the challenges of life. This doesn’t mean we need to have lots of relationships, or spend all our time with others (a hear a sigh of relief from the introverts like me), but it means building and then nurturing healthy, reciprocal relationships, and finding connection with others. 

Meaning 

Finding meaning and purpose is integral to who we are, we want to be part of something bigger than just ourselves. Where we find this meaning and purpose is different for all of us; it may be family, work, religion or politics. When our source of meaning, and our values don’t align we can feel stuck or uncomfortable. If we take time to re-connect to what is meaningful to us, we can prioritise activities or connections which are aligned with these. 

Accomplishment  

As well as desiring meaning, we also want to feel that we are good at something. This doesn’t need to be our job, or the role we have in life. It's simply about what we choose to do for its own sake. Its those hobbies we pursue with the intention of getting better and better. The sense of mastery we feel when we’ve achieved what we set out to do. 

5 Practices to help you flourish 

1. Three Good Things – a favourite of many wellbeing practitioners. At the end of the day note down three things which have been good, but include why and what you did to contribute. Nothing is too small. 

1. Take some time to identify your strengths, which of these link to activities which take you into flow? Find ways to create space for these activities in your life.  

1. Acts of Kindness – try to take an act of kindness towards others, without expecting anything in return.  

1. Meaningful Photos – over the next week, take 7-10 photos of things which are meaningful. At the end of the week, look back over these, and write about why they are meaningful. This will connect you to your meaning, and you can then identify ways to incorporate this into your life. 

1. What accomplishments can you identify? Journal around these accomplishments. How can you find space in your day or week for activities which make you feel accomplished? 

If you want some support to flourish, I can help you do this with group coaching, on a wellbeing retreat or individually. Alternatively book a clarity call to find out if you think you want to work with me.